“I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful one-hundred percent!” That’s why he was there, enduring hardship after hardship, while Mayzie jetted off to Palm Beach, leaving him holding the bag. Horton keeps his promise, despite ridicule, being captured and carried away, because he was being 100% faithful to a lazy bird who abandoned him and the future, embodied in an egg. Tell me that is not a story for the kids to learn from. It’s got it all, that Dr. Seuss was a clever fella. So, with a nod toward the past and an eye on the present, won’t you join me now as we stand and make The Mastadon.
One of the dangers of getting old is the tendency to repeat yourself, allegedly. I like to chalk it up to experience. At some point you have done so much that it all just sort of jumbles together and it’s easy too forget that this has all happened before. The upside is, you get to rediscover new things that you forgot you enjoy or hate , depending on your particular point of view. So, with a nod to a little memory remix, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Raspberry Donn Day Afternoon.
“‘Tis an ill wind that blows no good.” he said apropos of nothing. I had barely noticed the onshore breeze, so I looked him up and down, trying to decide whether or not it was gonna be worth the trouble to engage him, before shooting back, “You’re gonna need to unpack that fella.” The old man turned to me slowly, clearly surprised to have someone answer his rambles. I didn’t miss a beat, though. “Seriously, What are you trying to say there?” He did not answer immediately. “Is it some sort of warning? Are you saying that this wind is ill because it brings no good to any of us? And, if so, how can you know that?” I was answered with a blank stare. Unabashed, I followed on “Or are you saying that even an ill wind, which this one may or may not be, brings some good to someone somewhere, a la Henry VI? And, if so shouldn’t you thrown an “indeed” in there somewhere? You know, “‘Tis an ill wind, indeed, that blows no good.” I wasn’t messing with him, I was genuinely curious, that phrase had always bothered me. After a moment, he looked down and under his breath answered, “I passed gas, please pardon me.” Well, what the hell was I suppose to do with that? So, in the spirit of asking the question when you know you should just walk away, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the tiki classic, Tradewinds.
Mistakes, we all make them. I make so many mistakes that this almost feels like a retread of stuff I have said before. I wanted to quote Maya Angelou and her admonition to, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Then I figured I had probably use that bit before, I am a big fan of quoting her whenever I can. If you’ve read much of her work, you know why. I wasn’t properly prepared for today’s drink, so I missed a trick and I hate that. My whole hook is working tirelessly in the background to be better prepared than the next guy, all so I can try to make it look effortless. I failed at that, but all is not lost, now we have one of those teachable moments, so we are going to go with that. In that spirit, won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the Fantasticus.
We all say we hate lies, but then we live with them. I’d say that most of the problems we face stem from dishonesty. The kind of stuff that we all know is not true, or not quite true, but we perpetuate it by not calling it out. I am not sure why we do this, maybe we don’t want to cause trouble and rock the boat or maybe it is because we secretly want those lies to be true. Perhaps, Colonel Jessup was right and we can’t handle the truth, so we choose the lie. I do know this. There are some lies so egregious that we must stand up and speak truth to power whenever they are uttered within earshot and that is why I must say, C.S. Lewis lied to us, Turkish Delight is not at all delightful and certainly not worth betraying your family over. With that universal truth acknowledged, won’t you please join me now as we stand and make the White Witch.
The time has come to break some eggs and make an omelette. This is long overdue. Had I started this with any sort of plan this would have been Drink: One, in my personal lexicon. That said, on day one, I was not ready to make this very simple drink. I had not learned the skills, more importantly, I did not have the wisdom and experience to appreciate the importance of creating balance in a glass. So, with a nod toward our never ending quest to understand things more clearly, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Classic Daiquiri.
“If you know what’s good for ya, you’ll knock it off. You don’t mess with a classic, see?” came a gruff voice from the shadows. I wasn’t worried, most of these tough guys weren’t so tough once the chips were down. “What’s it to ya, bub?” I shot back, slipping my hand in my pocket, casually, “It’s my liquor, my glass…my town.” He stepped forward into the dim glow of the streetlight, his fedora still hid his eyes but I could see the stubble on his chin when he opened his mouth to say, “Drinking can be bad for your health. A lot of guys don’t realize that…” the words just hung there, a challenge. I did not know what to do. I mean, I wasn’t scared of this two-bit character clearly imagined for an opening paragraph only to be forgotten later, but I was also in a bit off a hurry. Still, if word got out that I’d gone soft, it would be nothing but headaches from every punk with a boston shaker and a shiny new jigger. “You sure seem interested in other folks business, mister. You got any peer reviewed evidence to back up that smart mouth?” He looked me up and down. I could feel him sizing me up, trying to decide if that lump in my pocket was the proverbial banana or something more sinister. He tipped his hat back, wide-eyed, “Look, I don’t want any trouble, mister. Louie slipped me a fiver to give you that message. Honest. I’m just trying to make a living, hitting my marks and telling the truth. I didn’t mean nothing by it.” I eyed him. He looked like an honest kid, once he got over playing it the hard way. I gave him the head nod, dismissing him. As he ran away, after him, “The classics were made to be experimented with. That’s part of the charm, you fool. They are the very basis of our cocktail lexicon and if we don’t mess with them we stagnate…slowly dying…here in the fog.” But he did not hear me, he’d already moved on to the next part. Bit characters never get it, they don’t hang around long enough to learn anything. Not like us real characters, the ones with names, the kinds of guys and dolls who get mentioned in the credits as they stand and make the Daiquiri Noir.
I was stung by a bee today. Twice. It’s been quite awhile since that happened and I do not care for it, not one bit. I know that this does not affect your life directly, but I just felt like it is a thing that should be known. My hand is all swollen and itching, my shoulder has a big painful bump on it and my mood is, well…did I mention I was stung by a bee? I suppose these things happen, but that got me to thinking, how a moment can change the entire trajectory of your day. How one careless decision can change the path of a life. So, with an eye toward making better mistakes tomorrow and dulling the pain of today, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Baie Du Galion.
I have had Havana on my mind lately. Riding around in those amazing vintage American cars, often with Russian engines. Hanging out with the artists at El Ojo del Ciclon. Just walking the streets listening to music or having a drink in one of the legendary bars the city offers. Lots of great memories there, I guess that’s why it has been on my mind so much lately. I’ve also been craving a daiquiri and this seems like a great opportunity to kill a couple of birds with one stone, or at least scare them anyway. So, in the spirit of indulging small desires, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Hotel Nacional Special.
In an unlikely move, I am getting ahead of the game. Laying the groundwork for things to come. I don’t always do that. You see, I never really had a plan here. I just started making drinks and writing words. If this were some great endeavor, carefully organized from the beginning, we would not have this trouble. I would have begun with the early cocktails and worked my way down through time, showing how one cocktail builds upon another in a great evolutionary tree of drink. That is what I would have done, if I had a plan. So, in recognition of our collective nearly perfect hindsight, won’t you join me now as we stand and make the Flor de Jerez.
